OCD

Sometimes I think I have a complex. I get overwhelmed and act obsessively. This obsessive behavior takes shape in many forms-- the most popular is me writing out my schedule for the next coming hours, days, weeks, and even months. I write down everything from the times of my meetings for work to going home to let my dog out to when I'm going to shower to pretty much everything besides going to the bathroom. The thing is that I don't need to write this down-- I have a work calendar that says all the things I need to know, I remember everything so it's unusual that I would forget what I need to do. But there is something about writing out all the days of the week and all the tasks that need to be done that meets some weird need of mine.

And here's the kicker, I don't ever look at the schedule again after I write it out. Instead, I'll write another one a day later that says the exact same thing as the last one, only maybe I'll have a little more information about what I'm doing that next week. Ridiculous.

I also make lists to no end. What to do when people come visit?(I literally will plan every minute)What do I need from the store? What errands do I need to run? DISCLAIMER: Making these lists does not mean the same thing as doing the things on them. i.e. I still have not gotten my Iowa driver's license that has been on my "list" for the past three weeks-- actually probably for the last two months. I list things I need to pack, people to call, ideas for presents and activities, etc.

Here's another kicker, I'm not a clean, organized person by nature. My room may have some clothes on the floor, I have scrapbook pages and scrap papers all over my living room, dirty dishes in the sink waiting to go in the dish washer. But even though I'm not OCD on the outside, is it possible to be OCD on the inside??

So this thing, this complex about me-- one might imagine how it is affecting me right now. One day before I leave to go home on vacation for two weeks; Two days before I start giving presents to people so I need to have them all put together and wrapped; Three days until AuBuchon's Christmas; Four days until I travel to Cape for festivities and then stay the night and see some friends the next day. Think of all the planning and pack and cleaning and buying and errands. BAAAAAAAAH!

So, now I must tell you the only reason I felt compelled to write a blog about this is because there is no ink left in my pen.

Good day to you.