Let the Rain by Sara Bareilles

I wish I were pretty
I wish I were brave
If I owned this city
Then I'd make it behave

And if I were fearless
Then I'd speak my truth
And the world would hear this
That's what I wish I'd do, yeah

If my hands could hold them you'd see
I'd take all these secrets in me
And I'd move and mold them to be
Something I'd set free

I want to darken in the skies
Open the floodgates up
I want to change my mind
I want to be enough
I want the water in my eyes
I want to cry until the end of time

I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down tonight

I hold on to worry so tight
It's safe in here right next to my heart
Who now shouts at the top of her voice
Let me go, let me out, this is not my choice

And I always felt it before
That the world was filled with much more
Than the drowning soul I've learned to be
I just need the rain to remind me

I want to darken in the skies
Open the floodgates up
I want to change my mind
I want to be enough
I want the water in my eyes
I want to cry until the end of time

I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down

I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down

I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down tonight

Kindness is my religion

<3 Ricky Gervais

May or may not be what you believe in or live by, but he makes some really great points.

http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2010/12/19/a-holiday-message-from-ricky-gervais-why-im-an-atheist/

xoxo,
Ash

Is it February Yet?

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you wish someone would choke on one.

You as in you, not me. Gosh, you're mean.

So this could possibly be a good week. My boss and coworker are in NY this week for work so I am left here to fend for myself-- as in survive a week full of meetings and tasks. I'm doing pretty good so far-- of course I'm only three hours in. But this Monday is treating me well. Already lunch time, ya heard??!

I had a relaxing weekend, but can barely walk today due to doing lunges on Saturday for the first time in probably a year! Pretty pathetic... not to mention I look like someone shoved it, if you know what I mean. I missed out on a fun-filled day at the AuBuchon household yesterday which is a bummer, but it'll be worth the wait when I actually get back home again.

I'm pretty excited for the upcoming month or so.

This weekend- Nicole is coming again on her way back from applying for her VISA in Chicago.

Feb.4-- going to Columbia for the weekend to see Jenna, who I have not seen in TWO YEARS! Hard to believe we lived together every day for a year and then to go two years without seeing each other?? I get the point, Jen. Kristin and her bf are meeting up with us on that Saturday and we are going to the Mizzou/Colorado game. Pretty pumped! Then the Superbowl is on Sunday so hopefully I'll make it back to DBQ in time to do something fun!

Feb. 18-- Aubrey and maybe Brooke and Kate are coming to see me! That will be such a great weekend. I need to investigate some fun things for us to do.

March 4-- MARDI GRAS WEEKEND!!! I'll be headed to STL to participate in my second MG celebration! I'm going to stay at Matt and Emily's new awesome, amazing, stellar house. Hopefully get to see Reg and Chee while I'm there before I head back.

Then I imagine I'll go home to BT finally for the first time since the holidays later in March, right in time for Dad's birthday-- and maybe some warmer weather??

These are the things that are keeping me going-- EVERYBODY'S WORKIN' FOR THE WEEKEND if you will... But still figuring my professional stuff out as well. All I know is that I'm ready for my first paycheck! woop woop! :-)

xoxo,
Ash

Running Circles

Tootie is an idiot. But a lovable one. Last night as I was shivering outside with her in the snow she begins sprinting around in circles while on her leash. Therefore every time she got to the exact same place, she would get yanked and pulled back. It never phased her. She would just sprint the other way round and around. This continued for a good five minutes. I couldn't help but laugh-- a lot. So then I realized people are probably watching. They are looking out their window or driving by seeing a crazy dog choking herself voluntarily and the dog's owner bent over laughing. I'm surprised no one called Child Protective Services on me.

I've been reading Kathy Griffin's Biography and I have to say it just makes me love her more. She may be obnoxious, but damn she has earned it! I really feel like women like her and Chelsea Handler have made it okay to be accepted for a crude/funny woman. I'm not saying I'm going to start doing stand up or saying perverted, gross things on TV or on my blog for that matter. But if I wanted to, I would and that's because they have paved the way.

Work is getting busier and steadier. I have been assigned some accounts and while I won't give specifics, ever. I will say that I'm hoping to really get in there and surprise people, including myself. I'm also ready to meet more people. My neighbor is pretty awesome and I had dinner with her and her boyfriend last weekend and might get drinks with her and her friend on Saturday. A guy I work with is also pretty cool and I've gone to happy hour and bowling with him and his friends. But I need to meet others, too. I think that's my problem, or was one of my problems in SF-- I make a few friends and then just rely on them to be my only friends or to introduce me to others. I need to continue to put myself out there-- and honestly the best way to do that is explain what happened in SF and why I want to meet more people. It works. --- shout out to my mom... she's the one who told me to tell people that I had a hard time making friends there, which was one of the reasons I moved.

When people ask if it's snowed or is snowing here I tell them it never stops. But honestly, it's not a big deal. The streets get cleared off, I'm extra cautious and it really has no effect on anyone's lives here. So you biatches enjoy your snow days while us Iowans slave away :-)

Life after 2010

Do you ever get on your own nerves?? I do it all the time. Today I heard myself say something that I knew had someone said that to me I would want to get away from them as fast as I could. I can read people very well, which is a good and bad thing. I usually know what a person is all about after being around them five minutes. I don't even have to be the one talking to them... I can tell if a person is really into themselves more than anyone in the world, I know when someone is insecure, dumb, a know-it-all, and especially when someone is just plain annoying.

Because I see these things in other people, I have my moments when I see them in myself-- hey, I know it's hard to believe but I have flaws, too! I guess the good news is that I recognize what I'm doing and eventually stop, but sometimes I say things even if I think it might be annoying just because I really want to say them. I want to talk about myself for a second-- so GET OFF ME! Okay, so you're not even on me, I'm the one on me... oh gosh, now I'm annoying and not even making sense!

In other news that may be more informative than the previous paragraphs-- I'm back to work. It was an incredible break back home with my friends and family, and I'm sure feeling it this week- or at least my pillow is! Seriously, I'm exhausted this week and am very much looking forward sleeping in this weekend and just hanging out. Hopefully it's not snowing too much where I can actually get out and see more of this place.

I'm going bowling with some people from work tonight so that should be fun. It's really weird how at home I feel here already. Things are good.

xoxoxoxoxox